10. E-Mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
9. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
8. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like
alt.recreational.catnip.
7. Your web browser has a new home page: http://www.catscans.com
6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it...and a strange aroma of tuna.
5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of
"CyberDog."
4 Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat
II.
2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post.
16. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.
15. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey's 900 number on your bill.
14. He actually *does* have your tongue.
13. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.
12. Cyanide pawprints all over the house.
11. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.
10. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of
catnip.
9. Droppings in litter box spell out "REDRUM."
8. Catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, "Mew looking
at me? Mew looking at me?"
7. Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.
6. You find blueprints for a Rube Goldgerg device that starts with a mouse
chased into a hole and ends
with flaming oil dumped on your bed.
5. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.
4. Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of Marlboros on yourdoorstep.
3. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose.
2. You find a piece of paper labeled "MY WIL" which says "LEEV
AWL 2 KAT."
1. Now sharpens claws on your car's brake lines.
The Top 15 Reasons to Own a Cat (Instead of a Dog)
15. Cats purr. Dogs drool.
14. Cats rub your leg when they want affection, not when they're horny.
13. Cats use a litter box. Dogs use your leg.
12. In 1996, over 10,000 US deaths were attributed to a dog owner's choking on
saliva during morning wakeup licks.
11. Cats always land on their feet. Dogs just won't let you throw them.
10. Cats let you kick them when you're stressed out.
9. Cats will wait until you've read your morning paper before tearing it to
shreds.
8. Cats look cute sleeping on the TV. Dogs just crash right in front of the
screen.
7. Fewer cat owners suffer from 'Flappy Tail' lacerations than dog owners.
6. No one has ever had to "Beware of the Cat".
5. Cats bury their crap. Dogs dig up others'.
4. Cats have better things to do than stick their nose in your crotch.
3. Cats lay on the car in the heat. Dogs in heat lay the car.
2. Why do you think they call it, "Dog Breath?"
1. Garfield. Odie. Enough said.